Comfort
by twicebornbacchus
Summary: Oneshot. Touya wakes one evening to find Yukito not in bed and discovers Yue, depressed, lost in his memories. In an effort to comfort him, Touya cleans his wings, feather by feather. Written in fulfillment of a prompt at ClampKink Meme on Live Journal.


They had just made love for the first time, he and Yukito, in Yukito's house…but in _their _bed. Moving in together had been a tremendous thing; there wasn't much to move (clothes, a few personal belongings), but the weight of the decision, knowing that it would affect their whole lives, had made it feel like something momentous and huge. They were still close to home – close enough for Yukito's other half to remain near his master – but alone, together in their room, the rest of the world drifted away, stranding them on an island composed of each other's embrace.

Sex was a messy, clumsy, awkward experience, and by the end of it, they had each fallen back under the sheets, breathless with laughter. Touya had heard that every person's first time was different, that it was impossible to predict the outcome, and that the best thing to do would be to not stress about it too much and just try to enjoy it.

But how could he _not _enjoy something so intimate and fun…especially with his best friend? Beside him, Yukito had fallen asleep. Touya smiled and pulled him closer until Yukito's head rested in the hollow of his arm. His own eyes closed just as he kissed Yukito's forehead.

"Bacon." A sleepy voice yawned from somewhere below him. Yukito rolled over, pulling Touya's arms down around him until he was securely wrapped in Touya's embrace. "And eggs. And rice. Toast, too…"

"I promise I'll get up early and cook breakfast. Go to sleep."

Their breathing evened out into quiet, similar rhythms, identical smiles on their face.

It was the cold that woke him.

It was funny how Touya had gone nearly all of his life sleeping by himself, but now that his mind had adjusted to a new sleep pattern, he awoke with the prickling sensation of a disturbance. The pressure points in the mattress were different; the blanket was no longer being tugged up and to the left. Most crucially, the pleasant, pulsing body heat of another person sleeping close by had been stolen away, leaving a vacuum of cold that had woken him.

Touya sat up, his eyes adjusting to the moonlight coming through the bedroom window. It spilled across the room and landed at the feet of someone who sat, hugging himself, in the far corner of the bedroom.

His mouth opened to call Yukito's name, then stopped.

Yue sat, his knees pulled up to his chest, arms wrapped around them. His hair coiled around him on the floor, and his wings, white like the downy underbelly of a swan, were hunched up over him. Touya recognized the position; it reminded him of a hawk, tense and ready to strike.

He slipped out of bed and moved forward until he was kneeling in front of the being. Two pale, gray eyes glared at him before softening, the gaze shifting guiltily away.

"Yue." Touya sat and folded his legs neatly under him. "It's good to see you."

Their encounters came with less and less frequency; there was little need for him, what with Sakura being safe and growing stronger in her magic every day.

A distant, cold voice answered a polite greeting in return.

"Is everything alright?"

Yue gave the slightest huff of annoyance. His words came out clipped and emotionless. "Yes. Everything is fine. Please go back to sleep. You need your rest."

"Yue." His eyes – human and yet _not _– flicked to his face. Touya held his gaze. "Yukito once told me that he doesn't remember anything when you're here –"

"I'm _always _here."

"–But that you remember everything while he's..._present._" Touya could feel Yukito studying his face, trying to read his expression. "About...what just happened. About us. Yukito and I…I should have discussed that with you, before we did anything. I'm sorry –"

A _louder _huff of annoyance, distinct and pointed, sounded. "What you two do together is not my concern. And you…" His face contorted, as if trying to say something incredibly difficult to pronounce in a language he didn't understand. He spoke softly, and once more his eyes looked away, down at the moonlight on the carpet. "…You make him happy."

"Did Clow once make you happy?"

Yue sucked in his breath; Touya waited, feeling the tension between them increase. He was afraid he had insulted the guardian beyond repair when Yue spoke again.

"Yes."

"…You miss him a lot. Still, I mean."

"I love him," he corrected. Yue blinked, surprised at himself, but with the release of his words, the strain left his posture. His wings relaxed, settling down behind him.

Touya smiled. "Tell me about him."

Yue eyed him suspiciously, but the invitation for companionship was too strong. He stretched out his left wing until the tips of the flight feathers brushed against Toya's shoulder, and for the first time Touya had ever heard, his voice was warm.

"Keroberos and I used to fly in the garden…not for any reason, or because anything was wrong. We just did. Clow was happy to see us be free. Kero lacks any sense of decorum, but I…my feathers used to bother me. I would spend hours trying to smooth them out and reset them, when one day Clow noticed what I was doing, and…" Yue stopped. The sound of his own voice startled him; he was surprised that he had said so much when he had only meant to say a little. His mouth snapped shut, and he glanced at Touya with a sudden sadness. "I'm sorry. This is of no importance to you. You should go back to sleep."

Touya rose and moved to his left until he was kneeling on Yue's side. The potential for a conflict was there, but something in the way Yue's bangs fell down, hiding his eyes as he looked at his knees reassured him. Touya reached forward and touched the wing, drawing it out until it rested like an open fan against the floor.

There _were _patterns, he could see; at the very end of the wing, flight feathers – some more than two feet long at the end of the wing – extended, the edges as keen as a knife's point. Each feather was composed of a hundred or so barbs, thin and silky as sewing thread, clinging together to form the body. The feathers knit together in the complex weaving of a creature born for flight, and in the silvery liquid of the moonlight, Touya could see how damaged and rumpled some of them were.

Every out of place feather – every singed one, every bent one, every _missing _one – made his heart ache a little more; every tiny pain had been earned protecting his little sister, and always Yue had had to run and hide back into the form that could watch over Sakura in plain sight, never having the time to treat his own aches.

Touya reached out, running his fingertips over the wing; it was like touching freshly fallen snow, delicate and airy and so unbelievably soft that his mind struggled to find something to compare it to until, finally, after another moment of experiencing the new softness, his mind gave up and created a new memory, distinctly original: _Yue._

Yue shivered. Touya caught the movement out of the corner of his eye and smiled to himself. He worked on his knees, beginning at the flight feathers; he pressed each one between his thumb and forefinger, gently sliding it down the vein until the feather was slick, no gaps between the barbs, until even the most frayed and tattered feathers appeared new and whole once more. He worked very slowly, like a man unaware of the concept of time or sleep; Yue's arms eventually came to rest at his sides, then up around himself in a self-embrace. His legs stretched out next, and very soon he had closed his eyes and sighed. The tension melted out of the wing as Touya came closer to his body, his fingers sliding underneath the feathers and lifting them out, gently rubbing each one until it was supple again.

A broken feather, the vein snapped in half, lay crumpled under three that had pressed it down against the flat of the wing. Touya grasped it by the root and pulled.

_"Ah!"_

The body attached to the powerful wing cringed away from him. Touya looked down and saw a tiny bead of red blood pooling where he had plucked the feather out, as if he had snapped it down at the quick.

"Yue, I'm sorry –"

"It's nothing." The wing stirred, as if to lift away and press against the body of its owner; Touya dropped the feather and grasped the thick muscle at the top, stopping its movement, and pulled it toward him until he could bury his face in it. The scent reminded him of Yukito, and yet… Touya smoothed out the feathers, pressing the wing back down, and gently dabbed at the spot where the feather had been.

Yue hesitated, then relaxed. Touya had come to the end of the wing now, where the shining form glided into Yue's body. Soft down collected near its core; to touch it was to feel a thousand snowflakes on the edges of his fingertips. Yue hugged himself tighter, and close now, Touya could see that he was trembling, the tiny, delicate feathers shaking like a snow flurry from the movement of their owner.

Touya moved across and began the process in reverse. Yue's eyes had closed; he bit the bottom of his lip, pressing his head down toward his chest in an effort to hide his face. Touya's hands moved onward, plunging into the pillowy down, sliding over the secondary feathers, pressing the bent ones back in order. It would probably be better to pluck them out, he knew, but not now – maybe in the future, when he trusted himself to be able to do it in a way that wouldn't cause Yue pain, but for now, this was the best he could do.

When he had smoothed the last of the fight feathers and finally rested back on his haunches, Yue managed to look up at him, his eyes cloudy with pleasure, yet still sharp with apprehension.

"I'm sorry that Clow is gone." Touya whispered without needing to. "And…I can't be what he was to you. I can't replace that." He reached out and pulled Yue's arms forward, away from his body; the gray eyes widened in surprise. "I would be honored if you felt comfortable enough to ask me to do that for you, like he did, and…I was hoping it would be alright if I did something new. Just between you and I."

Yue drew his hands away shyly, his arms wrapping around himself once again. "I don't think Yukito would like that," he whispered. "Even if he wouldn't know."

Touya laughed; the sound startled them both. "No, I don't mean like that. Even if Yukito never knew…my heart would."

Touya rose, fished something out of the drawer in his desk, and returned, kneeling behind him. Yue tried to turn and watch him, then stopped, gasping.

A hand ran threw his hair, pulling the long strands behind him, fingertips brushing against the nape of his neck. Touya undid the binding midway down, letting the fine strands cascade across the floor. He began to brush his hair very slowly, beginning at the top of his scalp, lifting away sections with his fingers, letting his nails apply a soft pressure against the skin. Yue involuntarily moved his head, leaning up into Touya's touch; his fingers ran over the edge of his ear, pulling the sheet of white silk with him.

By the time he was through, a heaviness had come upon him; he'd been at his work for nearly two hours. His energy level hadn't been the same since…well, since he'd made the best decision of his life, really. Touya leaned back and stared at Yue, marveling at his beauty. He shined with a new whiteness, bright and glistening.

Yue looked down at himself, his face flushed with embarrassment and a barely controlled pride. He was magnificent, and the knowledge of it caused the corner of his mouth to turn upwards into a small smile.

"That's better," Touya breathed. He set the hairbrush on the floor and leaned back. "We should do this often."

Yue tried not to smile in return; he shrugged a little, as if to say, _maybe, _and remained silent, watching. Touya's body relaxed as his eyes, struggling to stay open, closed a little longer with each blink. Finally, with a heavy sigh, he sank to the floor.

Yue leaned forward and brushed the bangs out of his face. "You promised you'd cook breakfast," he said. His lips were just above Touya's; another slight movement, and he could kiss him, the boy who reminded him of Clow, and Touya would never know…

Yue hesitated, smiled again, and drew away. He pressed a grateful kiss against Touya's forehead and lifted him back into his bed, slipping under the covers with him, and Touya, when he rolled over in his sleep, his arms reaching for Yukito, found him.

They both slept late into the morning.

**Fin. **


End file.
